Филмови бъзици

Филми, бре, филми... Джена Джеймсън, Трейси Лордс – we have them all!
User avatar
alshu
Elder God
Posts: 5339
Joined: Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:21 pm

Post by alshu » Tue May 15, 2012 5:44 pm

http://www.cracked.com/article_19826_6- ... ovies.html

Интересни откъси:
#5. Star Wars: A New Hope -- The Final Scene Is from a Nazi Propaganda Film
Now, we're not saying that Darth Vader is supposed to be Hitler or something like that -- we're pretty sure that's Luke.
Han is a thinner, less morphine-addled Goering, Threepio is Goebbels and R2 is (obviously) Himmler.
The coffee had been steadily growing more and more execrable for the space of three weeks, till at last it had ceased to be coffee altogether and had assumed the nature of mere discolored water — so this person said. He said it was so weak that it was transparent an inch in depth around the edge of the cup. As he approached the table one morning he saw the transparent edge — by means of his extraordinary vision long before he got to his seat. He went back and complained in a high-handed way to Capt. Duncan. He said the coffee was disgraceful. The Captain showed his. It seemed tolerably good. The incipient mutineer was more outraged than ever, then, at what he denounced as the partiality shown the captain’s table over the other tables in the ship. He flourished back and got his cup and set it down triumphantly, and said:

“Just try that mixture once, Captain Duncan.”

He smelt it — tasted it — smiled benignantly — then said:

“It is inferior — for coffee — but it is pretty fair tea.”

User avatar
passer-by
Elder God
Posts: 8280
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 5:42 pm

Post by passer-by » Tue May 15, 2012 5:54 pm

Доста добро, особено Старуорсовото. :shock:
Още повече, че Лукас съзнателно оприличава Империята на нацистите. :mrgreen:

А това за "Броненосеца Потьомкин" си е очевидно, не мисля, че точно Брайън Де Палма не знае за тоя филм.
To our knowledge, Kubrick never admitted knowing about this film, but considering that he was trying to figure out how a man would act when driven crazy by isolation and snow, we wouldn't be surprised if he decided to look to Sweden for inspiration.
:lol:
The Best of Mozart
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rb0UmrCXxVA
Moridin wrote:Нещо хайпът във форума силно намаля :)

User avatar
alshu
Elder God
Posts: 5339
Joined: Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:21 pm

Post by alshu » Wed Jun 27, 2012 1:07 pm

Не е точно бъзик, но се посмях доста докато го четох.

Съдържа спойлери за филма Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (предполагам и за книгата).

http://io9.com/5921285/why-abraham-linc ... lt-fantasy

Между другото, подобно историческо безумие цари във всеки холивуски филм представяш исторически личности...независимо дали е с претенции за историческа достоверност или не (както в случая).

ПП

И нещо бъзишко от cracked

http://www.cracked.com/article_19918_6- ... ments.html
The coffee had been steadily growing more and more execrable for the space of three weeks, till at last it had ceased to be coffee altogether and had assumed the nature of mere discolored water — so this person said. He said it was so weak that it was transparent an inch in depth around the edge of the cup. As he approached the table one morning he saw the transparent edge — by means of his extraordinary vision long before he got to his seat. He went back and complained in a high-handed way to Capt. Duncan. He said the coffee was disgraceful. The Captain showed his. It seemed tolerably good. The incipient mutineer was more outraged than ever, then, at what he denounced as the partiality shown the captain’s table over the other tables in the ship. He flourished back and got his cup and set it down triumphantly, and said:

“Just try that mixture once, Captain Duncan.”

He smelt it — tasted it — smiled benignantly — then said:

“It is inferior — for coffee — but it is pretty fair tea.”

User avatar
alshu
Elder God
Posts: 5339
Joined: Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:21 pm

Post by alshu » Wed Jul 18, 2012 9:38 am

http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/snow-wh ... e-heroines

Статията не е хумористична, но има доста смешни моменти.

За Снежанка:
She heals the magical kingdom, cleansing where she steps, acting as a kind of mystical drain unblocker for fairy tale land, or worse, a digestion-easing probiotic yoghurt packed with bifidius actimadeupscienceword, galloping through the kingdom pushing away all the shit and leaving behind miles of gleaming intestinal passage.
The coffee had been steadily growing more and more execrable for the space of three weeks, till at last it had ceased to be coffee altogether and had assumed the nature of mere discolored water — so this person said. He said it was so weak that it was transparent an inch in depth around the edge of the cup. As he approached the table one morning he saw the transparent edge — by means of his extraordinary vision long before he got to his seat. He went back and complained in a high-handed way to Capt. Duncan. He said the coffee was disgraceful. The Captain showed his. It seemed tolerably good. The incipient mutineer was more outraged than ever, then, at what he denounced as the partiality shown the captain’s table over the other tables in the ship. He flourished back and got his cup and set it down triumphantly, and said:

“Just try that mixture once, Captain Duncan.”

He smelt it — tasted it — smiled benignantly — then said:

“It is inferior — for coffee — but it is pretty fair tea.”

User avatar
alshu
Elder God
Posts: 5339
Joined: Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:21 pm

Post by alshu » Mon Jul 30, 2012 12:51 pm

Една полу-хумористична статия от Den Of Geek - http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/blockbu ... ockbusters
There’s a scene in Ridley Scott’s Prometheus in which Michael Fassbender's android asks why he was created by humans. The unsatisfactory reply comes “Because they could”. It’s an explanation that could just as easily apply to the film itself.
The coffee had been steadily growing more and more execrable for the space of three weeks, till at last it had ceased to be coffee altogether and had assumed the nature of mere discolored water — so this person said. He said it was so weak that it was transparent an inch in depth around the edge of the cup. As he approached the table one morning he saw the transparent edge — by means of his extraordinary vision long before he got to his seat. He went back and complained in a high-handed way to Capt. Duncan. He said the coffee was disgraceful. The Captain showed his. It seemed tolerably good. The incipient mutineer was more outraged than ever, then, at what he denounced as the partiality shown the captain’s table over the other tables in the ship. He flourished back and got his cup and set it down triumphantly, and said:

“Just try that mixture once, Captain Duncan.”

He smelt it — tasted it — smiled benignantly — then said:

“It is inferior — for coffee — but it is pretty fair tea.”

User avatar
alshu
Elder God
Posts: 5339
Joined: Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:21 pm

Post by alshu » Tue Aug 14, 2012 11:17 am

http://io9.com/5934412/poorly-translate ... re-amazing
In these tenuously translated subtitles, Thor and Loki (a.k.a. "Rocky") are half-cousins/half-brothers, Earth's Mightiest Heroes are questing after a Rubik's Cube, "mewling quim" receives a harsher connotation, and the Asgardian gods are unceremoniously thrust into the Judeo-Christian tradition. It's a brand new movie!
The coffee had been steadily growing more and more execrable for the space of three weeks, till at last it had ceased to be coffee altogether and had assumed the nature of mere discolored water — so this person said. He said it was so weak that it was transparent an inch in depth around the edge of the cup. As he approached the table one morning he saw the transparent edge — by means of his extraordinary vision long before he got to his seat. He went back and complained in a high-handed way to Capt. Duncan. He said the coffee was disgraceful. The Captain showed his. It seemed tolerably good. The incipient mutineer was more outraged than ever, then, at what he denounced as the partiality shown the captain’s table over the other tables in the ship. He flourished back and got his cup and set it down triumphantly, and said:

“Just try that mixture once, Captain Duncan.”

He smelt it — tasted it — smiled benignantly — then said:

“It is inferior — for coffee — but it is pretty fair tea.”

User avatar
Xellos
Moderator
Posts: 20428
Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2004 10:08 pm

Post by Xellos » Fri Sep 28, 2012 3:54 pm

Добър въпрос...

http://9gag.com/gag/5473372
„Ние можещите, водени от незнаещите, вършим невъзможното за кефа на неблагодарните. И сме направили толкова много, с толкова малко, за толкова кратко време, че можем да правим всичко от нищо. ... За мен най-лошото в България е чудесното наслаждение, което тук имат хората да се преследват един друг и да развалят един другиму работата.”

User avatar
alshu
Elder God
Posts: 5339
Joined: Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:21 pm

Post by alshu » Fri Oct 19, 2012 3:35 pm

http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/23065/t ... r-happened
The Beatles. Tolkien. Kubrick. 1968. Did we mention the part about being some of the first people in the UK to drop acid? Stanley Kubrick's Lord Of The Rings, Beatles-style, had already been cast, too: George Harrison as Gandalf, Paul McCartney as Frodo Baggins, Ringo Starr as Samwise Gamgee and John Lennon as Gollum.
While a Kubrick LOTR would have been fascinating, God knows how much of Tolkien would have actually made it to the final cut. Just ask Anthony Burgess, Stephen King and Vladimir Nabokov how Kubrick film adaptations worked out for them.
Not to mention that The Beatles were not actors. They would have been plugging their own personalities into pre-established Tolkien characters. So the movie would have ended up with a Maharishi-like Gandalf, an over-the-top cutesy Frodo, an angry anti-authoritarian Gollum and a goofily downbeat Sam.
In addition to dinosaurs, there are also giant prehistoric eagles (a fictional creation, as far as science knows today). Naturally, the Vikings ride these giant eagles majestically through the skies. Somewhere along the way, it being the eve of World War II and all, the Nazis attempt to invade the US of A. Their attack fleet is made up, naturally, of Zeppelins. Oh, yes, indeed, the climactic battle of War Eagles would have featured Vikings riding a top giant prehistoric eagles fighting off Nazi Zeppelins over the skyscrapers of Manhattan.
The coffee had been steadily growing more and more execrable for the space of three weeks, till at last it had ceased to be coffee altogether and had assumed the nature of mere discolored water — so this person said. He said it was so weak that it was transparent an inch in depth around the edge of the cup. As he approached the table one morning he saw the transparent edge — by means of his extraordinary vision long before he got to his seat. He went back and complained in a high-handed way to Capt. Duncan. He said the coffee was disgraceful. The Captain showed his. It seemed tolerably good. The incipient mutineer was more outraged than ever, then, at what he denounced as the partiality shown the captain’s table over the other tables in the ship. He flourished back and got his cup and set it down triumphantly, and said:

“Just try that mixture once, Captain Duncan.”

He smelt it — tasted it — smiled benignantly — then said:

“It is inferior — for coffee — but it is pretty fair tea.”

User avatar
alshu
Elder God
Posts: 5339
Joined: Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:21 pm

Post by alshu » Mon Nov 12, 2012 11:28 am

The coffee had been steadily growing more and more execrable for the space of three weeks, till at last it had ceased to be coffee altogether and had assumed the nature of mere discolored water — so this person said. He said it was so weak that it was transparent an inch in depth around the edge of the cup. As he approached the table one morning he saw the transparent edge — by means of his extraordinary vision long before he got to his seat. He went back and complained in a high-handed way to Capt. Duncan. He said the coffee was disgraceful. The Captain showed his. It seemed tolerably good. The incipient mutineer was more outraged than ever, then, at what he denounced as the partiality shown the captain’s table over the other tables in the ship. He flourished back and got his cup and set it down triumphantly, and said:

“Just try that mixture once, Captain Duncan.”

He smelt it — tasted it — smiled benignantly — then said:

“It is inferior — for coffee — but it is pretty fair tea.”

User avatar
alshu
Elder God
Posts: 5339
Joined: Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:21 pm

Post by alshu » Fri Nov 16, 2012 5:48 pm

Това не е чак толкова хумористично, но е продължение на темата от предишния линк - http://io9.com/5960919/15-best-fashion- ... ond-movies
The coffee had been steadily growing more and more execrable for the space of three weeks, till at last it had ceased to be coffee altogether and had assumed the nature of mere discolored water — so this person said. He said it was so weak that it was transparent an inch in depth around the edge of the cup. As he approached the table one morning he saw the transparent edge — by means of his extraordinary vision long before he got to his seat. He went back and complained in a high-handed way to Capt. Duncan. He said the coffee was disgraceful. The Captain showed his. It seemed tolerably good. The incipient mutineer was more outraged than ever, then, at what he denounced as the partiality shown the captain’s table over the other tables in the ship. He flourished back and got his cup and set it down triumphantly, and said:

“Just try that mixture once, Captain Duncan.”

He smelt it — tasted it — smiled benignantly — then said:

“It is inferior — for coffee — but it is pretty fair tea.”

User avatar
The Dragon
Elder God
Posts: 9062
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2004 9:03 pm

Post by The Dragon » Mon Nov 19, 2012 12:40 pm

Сори но това е най-фешън джеймс бонда на всички времена.

Image


Не е интеншъл базик, но винаги се разхилвам като я видя.
The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.

User avatar
Morwen
Shadowdancer
Posts: 13468
Joined: Sat Dec 20, 2003 1:20 am

Post by Morwen » Mon Nov 19, 2012 1:20 pm

Това... истинско ли е?
I don't wanna die
But I ain't keen on living either

User avatar
Trip
Moderator
Posts: 6353
Joined: Sat Dec 31, 2005 7:30 am
Contact:

Post by Trip » Mon Nov 19, 2012 1:27 pm

Мхм, от един друг филм - няква супер-артси пръдня, оказва се впоследствие. Героят (и филмът) се казва Зардоз :mrgreen:

User avatar
alshu
Elder God
Posts: 5339
Joined: Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:21 pm

Post by alshu » Mon Nov 19, 2012 1:50 pm

В темата "15 Worst Fashion Disasters from James Bond Movies" за третата снимка пишеше:
Fashion foreshadowing, long before Sean Connery was Zardoz, he was practicing framing his junk in tiny pieces of tight red fabric. Also, why the red suit? You're a spy. You're supposed to be hidden, there's a black suit right there in front of you. You're looking at it. Fuck it, we're doing red, Thunderball (1965). EDIT: Apparently Red looks Black at night underwater. Good thing he has his reflective shorts on.
ПП
Ето моето днешно предложение:

http://io9.com/5961506/r+rated-movies-r ... s-cartoons

Съдържа връзки към още неща от същия проект.
The coffee had been steadily growing more and more execrable for the space of three weeks, till at last it had ceased to be coffee altogether and had assumed the nature of mere discolored water — so this person said. He said it was so weak that it was transparent an inch in depth around the edge of the cup. As he approached the table one morning he saw the transparent edge — by means of his extraordinary vision long before he got to his seat. He went back and complained in a high-handed way to Capt. Duncan. He said the coffee was disgraceful. The Captain showed his. It seemed tolerably good. The incipient mutineer was more outraged than ever, then, at what he denounced as the partiality shown the captain’s table over the other tables in the ship. He flourished back and got his cup and set it down triumphantly, and said:

“Just try that mixture once, Captain Duncan.”

He smelt it — tasted it — smiled benignantly — then said:

“It is inferior — for coffee — but it is pretty fair tea.”

User avatar
alshu
Elder God
Posts: 5339
Joined: Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:21 pm

Post by alshu » Tue Nov 20, 2012 9:55 am

The coffee had been steadily growing more and more execrable for the space of three weeks, till at last it had ceased to be coffee altogether and had assumed the nature of mere discolored water — so this person said. He said it was so weak that it was transparent an inch in depth around the edge of the cup. As he approached the table one morning he saw the transparent edge — by means of his extraordinary vision long before he got to his seat. He went back and complained in a high-handed way to Capt. Duncan. He said the coffee was disgraceful. The Captain showed his. It seemed tolerably good. The incipient mutineer was more outraged than ever, then, at what he denounced as the partiality shown the captain’s table over the other tables in the ship. He flourished back and got his cup and set it down triumphantly, and said:

“Just try that mixture once, Captain Duncan.”

He smelt it — tasted it — smiled benignantly — then said:

“It is inferior — for coffee — but it is pretty fair tea.”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests